Tag Archives: crazy

Summer in Review Part 4: Wal-Mart Runs and Other Adventures

How to sum up the pure brilliance that was Summer 2011?  What was it that made every day better than the last?  Sure, the work was fun, and Chefy is the best boss a guy could ask for, but there was more to it than that.  Yes, hearing Ken Rudolph’s stellar preaching five days a week was wonderful, and so were all of the fun weekend trips, but those aren’t the memories that will stick with me longest.  No, the reason that I loved this summer so much, the reason that there will never be another summer like it, is because of all of the amazing friends who shared it with me and helped shape it into the adventure that it was – and believe me, it was an adventure.

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Coming Soon to The Author’s Apprentice

I have several interesting and substantial posts in the works right now including, but not limited to, three interviews with three exceptionally awesome people, several in-depth book reviews on books by authors such as John Green and C.S. Lewis, a long-overdue Pony Saturday post, ruminations on Lake Ann Camp’s zombie apocalypse survival readiness, and Adam Beckmeyer’s and my evil plan for world domination via literary acclaim.  Today, however, I just finished with my eighth out of nine consecutive twelve-hour workdays, and this is what I look like right now:

This is your blogger on sleep deprivation. Get your sleep, kids.

So obviously you’re not getting anything that coherent today, but stay tuned for some completely coherent and non-scarring-images-containing posts in the near future.

Much love,

– Tim


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Chapel Runs Super-Late?

Post a crazy pony picture!  Go, Go-Kart Dash, go!

Source: http://theartrix.deviantart.com/art/Gotta-go-faster-212559732

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An Explanation

So yesterday, I posted a post that consisted of a very loud audio recording of people screaming and yelling and the words “I’ll explain this tomorrow”.  It’s tomorrow, so here’s the story behind that odd sound bite…

Yesterday, I went with the Lake Ann Camp support staff to Empire Beach.  It was a very nice beach except for all of the tiny dead fish along the shoreline, but the best part wasn’t the sand or the water or the dead fish or any of the other normal, beach-type things.  It was the enormous and fantastic playground.  This playground had a climbing wall, swings, and, best of all, one of those metal merry-go-rounds that are responsible for 85% of playground injuries and 97% of playground enjoyment.  We spent several dizzying minutes whipping each other around in circles just because we could, and then I realized that I hadn’t written a post that day.  Suddenly, I remembered the phone-to-blog feature on WordPress and decided that it would be a great idea to get on the merry-go-round with a bunch of the other guys and record our ride to upload as the post for the day.

I had to walk back to the bus to get my confirmation code, and when I came back there was a little girl on the merry-go-round.  She introduced herself as Kaylee (I probably spelled that wrong.  There are several hundred thousand ways to spell that name, and parents never choose the one you expect.  Ever.), and she announced that she wanted to ride with us.  We tried to tell her that we would be going really, really fast, but that only made her more excited to do it.  The kid was an adrenaline junkie.  Her uncle was alright with it, so we all climbed on, grabbed onto the railings, and let the madness begin.  If you listen to the audio post, you can hear me argue with the pushers for a moment about which direction we should go, and then it all descends into chaos.  We were screaming and yelling and holding on for dear life, but over the din you can hear a little voice say, “I’m not even holding on!”  That’s right.  Kaylee was standing there, her hands in the air, leaning nonchalantly against the railing and grinning like a mad person.  All of us full-grown men were crying for mercy while this little girl stood there completely calmly, shaking her head at our display.  Halfway through the ride, she got bored and started walking around the edge of the merry-go-round.  I’m telling you, she was like some kind of miniature ninja.  By the time it was all over, most of us had been thrown to the ground by the unmerciful g-forces, but not Kaylee.  She hopped down cheerfully from the merry-go-round and ran off to go play with her brother, Franklin (who was just as crazy as his sister; I’ll write about that another day).  She didn’t even look dizzy.

And that’s how a recording of me screaming like a little girl while an actual little girl makes fun of me in the background was uploaded to the Internet.


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The Merry-Go-Round of Terror

I’ll explain this tomorrow.

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The Final Stretch

You know it’s the last week of classes when:

– You stay up all Sunday night doing homework.

– You write four papers in under 24 hours and you still have five more to write by the middle of finals week.

– The phrase “free time” makes you laugh.  Not the “oh, that’s funny” kind of laugh, but the unsettling sort of laugh that is usually accompanied by facial tics and a desire to inflict harm upon the offending speaker.

– You actually go to sleep before midnight, sometimes even as early as 9:45 P.M., despite the fact that it’s practically still light out then.

– You immediately turn down offers to do anything even remotely resembling a social activity without so much as a second thought.  Play racquetball?  Sorry, homework.  Hold a conversation for more than a minute and a half?  Sorry, homework.  Actually leave my room and interact with people?  Sorry, homework.

– You’ve moved past counting down the days and are now counting down the hours to when you’ll finally be finished with school (that’s approximately 266 1/2 for those of you following along at home).

– You unapologetically resort to posting quick, cheap, list-form blog posts, sacrificing content for the sake of that ever-elusive holy grail known as sleep.

I hear it calling me now, in fact.  Goodnight, my friends.  I’ll see you at the finish line.

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And Here’s Our Next Contestant…

As I was watching “Wipeout” this evening with my roommate, it struck me just how weird game show contestants are.  Why are there no normal contestants on these shows?  Is it because no ordinary person would ever sign up to run a foam-covered obstacle course?  Or perhaps produce know that a group of average, everyday folks doesn’t make for good TV?  If that’s the case, it seems that there are three types of people who do make good TV, because nearly every game show contestant of all time falls under these categories:

1. Smart.  Ken Jennings, anyone?  More intellectual game shows like Jeopardy! or Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? have a few things in common.  The first is that they end with punctuation marks.  The second is that their draw comes from the intelligence of the contestants – we want to know if they’re smart enough to win it big.  That, and we feel smart when we get the questions right.  “I knew it before he did!  I should get a PhD…”

2. Tragic.  These type of contestants show up a lot on shows with high stakes.  “What would you do if you won the five billion dollar prize, Shirley?”  “Well, all three of my children are afflicted with the rarest and most incurable disease on the planet, our house just burned down, and I lost my job, so I would use the money to buy a new house, feed my kids, and research a cure for Severe Craniatus Insanicus.”  The really sad part is, they usually wind up with five hundred bucks, and then everybody feels awkward.  Still, people with a sad story always have a fall-back: “Extreme Makeover Home Edition”.

3. Hyper.  “Wipeout” is like the world headquarters for Spazz and Scream International.  There’s no way they’re casting you unless you can juggle, dance, dress up in a weird costume, or have a cheesy catchphrase that you scream incessantly.  These people are loud, these people are quirky, and most of these people spend all day climbing in and out of freezing water and getting smacked in the face by high density foam with no payoff.  Perhaps crazy would be a more accurate title than hyper.  Still, if you can put on a show – and don’t mind the hosts making fun of you while your friends and family watch, you might get your shot at the big grand prize.  So what are you waiting for?  Put on that cape, whip out that unicycle, and get yourself on a game show.

These are the three categories that I noticed, but I want to know: have you spotted any more?  What’s your favorite game show?  Let me know in the comments below, and I’ll see you tomorrow with a post about adventure.

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