Candid Car Ride or This Is What My Life is Like Every Day


Disclaimer: This post contains the word “transvestite”, but the individual in question is a jug of water named Drew Waters.  There was no actual dating involved.  Also, Adam Beckmeyer was driving.  I thought I should specify that in case he crashes and we all die so you know who to blame.

Tim: “Jon, pants and shirts are unisex.”

Jon: “I’m wearing unisex clothes?”

T: “Yes.”

Adam: “Lemur.  That’s your next word, Tim.”

Megan: “Guy clothes are way more comfortable than girl clothes.  It’s not fair.”

J: “That’s because girls wear butt shorts!  So.  Annoying.”

A: “This guy is annoying.  He’s driving way too slow.”

M: “I wanna buy guys’ cargo shorts.  I love cargo shorts.”

J: “It’s 10:21!”

A: “If we’re late, it’s this guy’s fault, not mine.”

J: “Actually, it’s 9:36.  That clock is lame and false.”

A: “Okay, I’m passing this guy.”

J: “No!  I said I DIDN’T want to meet Jesus tonight!”

M: “I’d rather die a painless death.  Like when I’m old, in my sleep.”

A: “Ooh, can I do it?  I’ll use an axe.”

M: “I DON’T WANNA GET MY HEAD CHOPPED OFF!”

J: “No, seriously, it’ll be painless!”

M: “Boop!”

J: “Boop!”

T: “What are you guys doing?”

M: “We’re fighting over Drew.”

J: “You said you didn’t want to date him.  He’s mine!”

A: “HI GUY ON THE BOAT!”

J: “Drew’s mine.  You’re just jealous because you couldn’t have him… her…”

A: “It.  I refuse to anthromorphogize a jug of water.”

J: “Tim, what’s your favorite noise you can make?”

A: “Dude, it has to be *bliss*, *DOOM*, or *larp*.”

T: “Well, those are my favorite sound effects, but-”

M: “I used to make this noise all the time when I was little.  *PPPPPPBPBPBPBPBPPBPTPTPTPTPTTBTBTBTPTBTPTBTPBTBPB*”

J: “*pptpt*… I can’t do it.”

A: “What are you doing?”

J: “Nothing.  I can’t do it.  I’m just going to pet Drew.”

A: “What if I take Drew?”

J: “No!  That’s my transvestite boyfriend… girlfriend… thing…”

*laughter*

*we all stop laughing but Jon*

A: “Seriously, what is up with Jon’s laugh tonight?”

M: “Yeah, Jon, you sound crazy.”

J: “*Woody Woodpecker laugh*”

M: “Jon, you and Scotty have the best laughs ever.”

J: “Hey, I think Drew’s water is breaking.”

M: “DREW IS PREGNANT!  TIM, WE FOUND OUT DREW IS PREGNANT!”

J: “It’s not my fault!  Here, you take him.  You can have a transvestite boyfriend.”

M: “I don’t want a transvestite boyfriend!”

J: “I’m saying the most awkward things tonight…”

A: “25 means 45, right?”

If you find this computer in wreckage by the side of the road, know that I died laughing and happy.  Also, I leave everything to Drew Waters.

Advertisements

4 Comments

Filed under Older-Type Posts

4 responses to “Candid Car Ride or This Is What My Life is Like Every Day

  1. Insanity is the best medicine for boredom… Just sayin’.

  2. Pingback: Summer in Review Part 4: Wal-Mart Runs and Other Adventures | The Author's Apprentice

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s