Tim Newton’s Guide to Packing

  1. Wait until the night before you have to leave before you start packing.  If you are leaving at night, you can wait until morning on the day of.
  1. It is impossible to overestimate the number of Q-Tips you might need.  Better to have extra than to run out.  The same principle applies to Play-Doh and socks.
  1. Make sure you have all of the matching cables and/or batteries for your electronic devices.  You don’t want to arrive only to find that you have a phone with no charger or an industrial camera flash rendered incapable of blinding unsuspecting passersby because the batteries are dead.
  1. Pack lightly.  You never know when you’re going to have to abandon your vehicle and drag all your belongings up a mountain and/or through the desert while carrying an orphaned child to safety.  This happens more often than you might suspect.
  1. Always, always, always pack at least as many books as you have Q-Tips.  Rule number 2 absolutely and unequivocally applies to books, and books are exempt from rule number 4.
  1. Music.  Listen to music while packing, pack something that is capable of playing music in your bags (yes, accordions and bagpipes qualify), and make sure that you don’t pack away your MP3 player so that you can listen to music on the road/while climbing the mountain.
  1. Clothes aren’t that important, just make sure to bring enough so that you never have to go naked.  Awesome printed tees are a plus, especially if they feature Muppets, Ponies, or the Kool-Aid Man.  If you happen to own a Montgomery’s Quills and Sofas shirt, you win a fabulous prize* for having fantastic taste.
  1. Bring a towel.  They’re the most useful objects in the galaxy.
  1. Also, remember to pack a bow tie.  Bow ties are cool.
  1. Whenever you make a list, make sure it has ten points, even if the tenth point is arbitrary and irrelevant to the rest of the list.


* Prizes may vary and may or may not even exist because I am poor.  Offer not valid in either the Milky Way or Pegasus galaxies or on Midway Station.



Filed under Older-Type Posts

4 responses to “Tim Newton’s Guide to Packing

  1. Mom

    11. make sure your mom is around to help you remember important stuff like razors and underwear and stuff like that. If you don’t have a mom, I rent out pretty cheap 🙂 I’m sure Tim wouldn’t mind sharing me.

  2. Adam B

    I want a bow tie…

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