A dear friend of mine died today. He was always there for me when I needed him, day and night. He was so supportive, and I could always count on him to help me out if I needed a place to sleep for the night. When I met him one evening in the lobby of Culbertson Hall, I never imagined that our friendship would become as amazing as it did, or that it would end so abruptly. I knew that his condition was deteriorating, but I always somehow imagined that he’d last forever. It was not to be.
So it is with a heavy heart that I type these words: I’ll miss you, Polycarp. You were a great couch, even if it was a pain and a half to get your body out of the room. Seriously, it felt like playing expert-level Rush Hour with 100-pound pieces of furniture. That is not a game that I’d recommend to anyone under any circumstances.
Nevertheless, thanks for always being a semi-comfortable seating and/or sleeping location, and for not complaining when I stabbed you with a pair of scissors and ripped your lining open to get to my phone. Of course, to be fair, you were the one who ate it in the first place.
Anyway, rest in peace, my green checkered friend. You served Dan and I well, and we’ll never forget you.