Polycarp is an orphan. When his father abandoned him in a foreign land, he was passed from one uncaring foster family to another, slowly losing hope of ever finding anyone who would love him again. At last, he found himself in a family with twenty-three sons. The boys hated Polycarp, and they did everything they could to make him miserable, until one day their behavior became so cruel that Polycarp tried to run away. Unfortunately, he was born without any legs, and his father had only been able to afford wooden replacements, so he didn’t get far before his foster brothers dragged him back home and told their parents lies about how Polycarp was a thief and a scoundrel. They grabbed Polycarp roughly and threw him into the elevator of their apartment building, where he hit his head and fell unconscious. Fortunately, when Polycarp tumbled out of the elevator on the first floor, a kind young man named Daniel found him and sat by him, waiting for his family to come for him. When Polycarp woke up, he tearfully recounted his story to Daniel, how he had no family or friends, and Daniel brought him home, with the help of his roommate, Tim, to live with them. Polycarp loves his new home, and Dan and Tim feel like they’ve finally found something that they had been lacking for far too long: a couch.
That’s right, my friends, in an act of heroism, Dan and I have adopted our very own couch. His name is Polycarp, and he’s everything we were looking for in a piece of furniture. Here he is, in all of his green plaid glory:
Our room finally feels complete, and we know that Polycarp is going to feel right at home.
So, a question for you: have you ever named an inanimate object? What was the story behind the name?