When I decided to tackle the PostADay challenge, I knew that I would learn a lot about writing, and maybe a little about myself in the process. I wasn’t expecting the learning to kick in so quickly, though, and I wasn’t expecting it to be quite this demanding. I thought that maybe I would grow better at meeting deadlines or thinking on the spot, but the lesson that I’ve already learned isn’t one of language and creativity, it’s one of character and lifestyle, and it started with a question:
Why am I doing this?
Actually, it was worded more like, “Why are you doing this?”. The Holy Spirit has a way of asking these potentially convicting questions at the least convenient (yet most important) times, and this time I was sitting in front of my computer again, checking the stats on WordPress and YouTube (again). Here’s how the conversation more or less played out:
“Why are you doing this?”
“Doing what? Checking the views on my blog?”
“Well, yeah, but I was being more specific. After all, why are you looking at your stats?”
“Because I want to see how many people are viewing my daily posts.”
“Now, theres the issue I wanted to get at. Why are you writing these daily posts?”
“(Awkward Pause). Rephrase the question, please?”
“Don’t play stupid here, just think about it. Why did you start on PostADay?”
“For the creative challenge. I wanted to stretch myself.”
“Fair enough. New question, then: why are you doing it now?”
One of the obnoxious things about being human is that the sin nature tends to creep in and ruin things. What begins as a fun idea is slowly infused with pride and selfishness, and that attitude begins to spread into other areas of life. Fortunately, one of the fantastic things about being redeemed by Christ is that the Holy Spirit is always there to see things that we are too oblivious to notice – or that we are purposefully ignoring – and He’s never too bashful to point them out. Once He does reveal a problem, though, it’s up to us to do something about it, and that’s where I am now. We’re only three weeks into PostADay 2011, and I’m already becoming a statistics addict. My focus is drifting toward how I can get more views, how I can present myself better, how I can be more noticed, and I’ve started to stake a small portion of my happiness on how many people want to hear what I have to say. I want to know that I’m heard, that I’m liked, that I matter.
It seems I’m not alone in feeling that way. Everyone is clamoring for everyone else to come and listen to them, we believe that every thought that passes through our heads is worthy of attention and we have more platforms than we could ever exploit to help us bring those thoughts to the masses. That’s not what this blog is, or should be, all about. I write, vlog, read, study, work, play, and live for one person only, and I won’t find Him on any statistics page. If what I have to say isn’t pleasing to Him, I shouldn’t even say it, and if my words bring Him glory then whether a million people read it or no one sees it at all, I should be satisfied. It’s time to bring my focus back around to where it belongs – to knowing God and declaring His truth. After all, the world doesn’t need more entertainment. The world needs more truth. The world needs to know the story of our great Author, and if I am truly His apprentice then I won’t steal His spotlight. So, whether I post stories, songs, scripture, or even a little silliness here and there, I pray that it glorifies God and uplifts His children, because that’s what He designed me to do, and the day that I stop doing that is the day that I no longer matter.
Praying that that day never comes,
The Author’s apprentice.